Friday, January 2, 2009

Guy Ritchie Killed RocknRoll

I think it's safe to say that Guy Ritchie has a pretty decent following, some ardent defenders, and has received considerable, if cultish, acclaim. Can anyone tell me why? His body of work is so small and the quality in that tiny quantity is so poor that I'm left bewildered and a bit angry.

Ritchie's RocknRolla, a British crime caper, is one of the worst movies of 2008. It's atrocious. Absurdly, almost impossibly bad. Watching it was pure misery. And I paid $10 to see it! My only defense is that I was duped by this awesome-looking trailer:

See? Deceptive! Looks cool, right? It's not. There's nothing interesting, exciting, or comprehensible about RocknRolla (ugh, it's annoying to type that stupid title - I die a little on the inside each time). The plot is just awful. It's rambling, nonsensical, and dull as all bloody hell. RocknRolla is unnecessary, overcomplicated, and self-indulgent. It's a hideous waste of good actors (Gerard Butler, Jeremy Piven, and Ludacris) and an egregious waste of a great one (Tom Wilkinson).

Butler and Wilkinson are the only two things separating RocknRolla from a zero star rating. Wilkinson for his mere presence, really, but Butler is actually charming and quite funny (the only humorous aspect of this glaringly UNfunny alleged comedy, aside from its laughable wretchedness, of course - although, there isn't much laughter as it's honestly too bad to derive even that simple pleasure granted by terrible movies). Gerard Butler is like a way less interesting and talented version of Colin Farrell in In Bruges, but he's the best thing in this assault on cinema and humanity, so I'm grateful to him. He's very entertaining and, to be superficial, he's really hot. Still, there's no compensation, no relief, and no excuse. I loathe this movie.

2008 saw some serious duds in the action/thriller department, but RocknRolla really bites the bullet.

Rating: 1/2* (out of 5)


Bill Treadway said...

Ugh..I forgot about Rock n'Rolla when composing my Stinkers of 2008 list.

I haven't liked a single film of Guy Ritchie's. He's all icing and no cake.

The review itself was wonderful. I'm so glad to see you back!

nhcareyjr said...

hey just found your blog. you must keep up the writing cause I just got here! love it!

Anonymous said...

Totally agree! I can't wait for Butler to get a role worthy of his charm and talent. As for Wilkinson, he should have a clause in his contract barring him from roles involving bad bald caps.

Alexa said...

I totally agree as well. He's all (stolen) style and no substance.

Bill Treadway said...

I'm seriously dreading Sherlock Holmes. Ritchie is the absolute wrong director for Holmes.

Then again, I said the same thing about Brett Ratner when he was signed to direct Red Dragon and he did a fine job.

Brave Sir Robin said...

Well, I'm going to disagree with you. I love Lock Stock and Snatch. Brad Pitt's character in Snatch is my favorite character he's ever played.

Someone (accurately) described Guy Ritchie as the AC/DC of cinema. His movies aren't complicated and they're all derivative of each other, but they rock hard.

I can't defend Rocknrolla because I've not seen it. But his first two outings have great soundtracks, memorable characters, and quite a bit of humor. Plus, they gave us Jason Statham.

Brave Sir Robin said...

I'm also excited for Sherlock Holmes, but that's mainly because of my RDJ love.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to have to agree with Brave Sir Robin on this one...

I laughed really really hard watching RocknRolla. For me, it was a return to the absurdity and hilarity of LS+2SB. I think Ritchie writes some really interesting and truly funny dialogue.

RnR was one of the most fun last year!