Friday, January 9, 2009

Bitch Wars


The end of the year spoils us, movie-wise. Even if you don't put much stock in awards season, you can't deny the quality of the Oscar bait films. It's a sweet time...a better time.

Alas, welcome to January, where cinema goes to die. And with Bride Wars, it looks like we're right on schedule. In this nauseating-looking exercise in female bitchery, Anne Hathaway, determined to erase any cred she earned with Rachel Getting Married (think Halle Berry with Catwoman and Eddie Murphy with Norbit), and Kate Hudson, who hasn't done anything worthwhile since Almost Famous over eight years ago, star as childhood best friends who have always dreamt of having their weddings at the Plaza and, of course, being the other's maid of honor. But oh no, their weddings accidentally get booked on the same day. Whatever will they do?

Since they're women, they'll have an epic catfight, naturally. As you know, we women are totally irrational and WILL shatter a lifelong friendship and turn into shrieking, backstabbing, tantrum-throwing, superficial she-beasts at the drop of a hat, especially if you mess with our weddings. We'll resort to calling each other fat, we'll dye each other's hair blue and ensure the other gets a bad orange tan, and we're willing to throw feminism and our self-respect out the window. What decade IS this? GAG.



I'm not the only one who finds this appalling, right? Worse yet, Bride Wars has a PG rating, so every little girl can aspire to being this petty and bitchy when she grows up.

I hope I speak for all women when I say:

Ladies, please, you're embarrassing us.

5 comments:

Bill Treadway said...

Got to call it what it really is: 27 Dresses II.

I suppose a good comedy could be made about two friends whose wedding falls on the same day. But based on the trailer, it doesn't look as if they even tried with this one.

Lisa Draski said...

I don't want to be totally closed-minded about it, and I actually feel an obligation of sorts to see it at some point, but the way they act toward each other is ridiculous. It plays into every negative stereotype about women that exists and hurls us back to the 50s. But at least in the 50s, we would have had the advantage of Marilyn Monroe as the token blonde.

So, the trailer combined with a Metacritic rating of 25 doesn't bode well. Even if they end up reconciling, which of course they will, what about the vile hour or so of the women being evil to each other? It sends a terrible message.

chemistchicago said...

And part of that mistaken message is that you can be absolutely evil to someone (a best friend, in this case), and that things will still work out in the end. I miss reality...

Anonymous said...

I love the Berry/Murphy comparison with Hathaway's terrible career move here. I laughed when I found out that Hudson won over Hathaway for "Favorite Actress" at the People's Choice Awards. If Rachel Getting Married was actually seen by the mainstream public, the People would have chosen differently.

Lisa Draski said...

Those awards are a joke. I don't know who these "people" are...