Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Talk Cinema: The Parody Problem

The following is a transcript of what I felt was a rather amusing conversation that I had with a long-time friend the other day via instant message. It was prompted by an admission through his Facebook status that he watched the Disaster Movie trailer out of morbid curiosity:

Me: "the disaster movie trailer?? tsk tsk"
Him: "it's like a car crash or physical deformity - you don't want to look but you're drawn to it anyway"
Me: "I understand"
Him: "god those movies are the harbingers of our societal destruction"
Me: "can I quote you on that some time?"
Him: "go for it"

And I did. I thought it was a hilarious and brilliant statement.

Him: "that's their second one this year. they 'parody' movies that aren't even fucking out yetand they make almost the exact same amount at the box office each time. I think it's the exact same assholes going to see each one."
Me: "yeah, I bet"
Me: "they're like 15"
Me: "and boys"
Him: "the remedial 15 year olds"
Me: "carmen electra's career is certainly doing well because of them"
Me: "how much do they gross?"
Him: "hey, i can't fault the talentless or struggling people in the movies, make your money where you can...the writer/director duo are the ones who need punishment"
Me: "true"
Him: "those two guys though...i'm irrationally angry about these things"
Him: "these movies don't even have jokes"
Me: "no"
Me: "what movies do they spoof that aren't out?"
Him: "pop culture has completely collapsed inward on itself like a dying star, where the mere reference to something qualifies as funny"
Him: "hancock"
Me: "ugh"
Him: "but yeah, have someone dress like will smith does in the movie, have him fly and hit his head on somthing and fall down - there's your joke"
Him: "have a cow fall on iron man...COMEDY"
Me: "lol" (not a fan of the internet acronyms, but sometimes the situation calls for it)
Him: "I wish I was making these things up"
Me: "iron man is in this one?"
Him: "yes"
Him: "and a cow falls on him"
Me: "isn't he a superhero?"
Him: "the hulk's pants fall off"
Me: "aren't they mixing their genres?"
Him: "i guess they're upset they didn't get to do superhero movie first"
Me: "is batman in it?"
Me: "so they make these shitty movies and can't even categorize them correctly?"
Him: "no, but juno fights sjp from sex in the city"
Me: "in DISASTER movie?"
Me: "what, fashion disaster?"
Him: "i think the main 'plot' is based on either day after tomorrow or cloverfield"
Him: "hence the title"
Me: "but everything else is taken from wherever they feel?"
Him: "oh yes"
Him: "like the princess from enchanted being hit by a car"
Him: "or a boulder falling on hannah montana"
Me: "that isn't even the right genre!"
Me: "can't they do one thing right?"
Me: "how old are these guys?"
Him: "ooh, there's a character called McLover"
Him: "GET IT?"
Me: "sadly"
Him: "so anyway"
Him: "all you can really do is let out a long, defeated sigh and move on"
Me: "how old are they?"
Him: "dunno"
Him: "old enough to be castrated"


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