Friday, February 1, 2008

Chomping At The Bit

These are all the cities Teeth is currently playing in that, last time I checked, are NOT Chicago: LA, New York, Houston, Austin, Boston, Philadelphia, Denver, San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle. Okay, the first two are obvious. LA and New York are usually the first. That's fine. But Chicago should be third in line, because it's the third gosh darn biggest metropolis in this country! No offense to these other fine cities, but how did Chicago get bypassed? Denver? Boston? The Pacific Northwest? What is this? I have to deduce that this film has been shopped around to various urban markets, with Chicago being one of them. It not opening here either means that Roadside Attractions isn't trying hard enough or that some bigwigs in Chicago have decided people don't want to see a movie about a girl with teeth in her vagina. I don't know about you, fellow Chicagoans, but I don't like my decisions being made for me, especially when it comes to vaginal dentistry. Are we not as edgy as Philadelphia? Portland? Come on, Chicago has a huge audience for this film. It's destined to be a cult classic. We're hip, we love stuff like this! This is so frustrating. I want my Teeth! Don't make me bite you...

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