Sunday, June 15, 2008

The 10 Worst Films of 2007

Yes, I really am doing this list now, on June 15th of the year 2008. Let's bypass any explanation or snarky, self-deprecating remarks and get on with the badness. All I'll say is that In my defense, they're still just as bad in mid-2008.

1. Southland Tales: The most offensively inexplicable and pretentious pseudo-philosophical nonsense I've ever seen. Richard Kelly, get out of my life.

2. Hostel: Part II: This comes in at a very close second. I was going back and forth for a really long time - misogyny versus pretension? Normally, misogyny would win out every time. But Richard Kelly's galaxy-sized ego and convoluted arthouse shtick ("It's cool because I say it is") makes me even more infuriated than Eli Roth's blood bath o' babes. Even though Roth's film takes a nauseatingly misogynistic turn with the lesbian disemboweling of Heather Matarazzo (shame on you, Heather), at least Roth is in control of his mess. He knows what he's doing, even if it's horribly wrong.

3. Descent: Was this even a movie? I couldn't tell.

4. Redacted: Brian de Palma's screechingly annoying, totally misguided take on the Iraq War is an insult to the honorable veterans of this conflict.

5. The Dead Girl: Lots of great female actors and a breathtaking performance by Brittany Murphy can't save this dreary, unenlightening tale of women seemingly getting what they deserve, often just for being women, and being punished in totally unironic ways, all under the guise of empowerment. Blechh.

6. Inland Empire: David Lynch proves that just because you CAN make something doesn't mean that you SHOULD. Laura Dern deserves to have a monument erected in her honor for being such a (brilliant) trooper.

7. A Mighty Heart: Angelina Jolie delivers a moderately impressive performance. Too bad the rest of the film gets bogged down in political minutiae. Snoozefest. I know from experience. I actually fell asleep quite often during the screening I saw at Cannes.

8. The Banishment: A Russian entry for the Palme d'Or at Cannes last year. I saw this at the festival impossibly late at night in my uncomfortable formal wear and thought it was one of the most boring stories ever. In fact, was there a story? I'm still not sure. Transcendent cinematography and sound design make it an even bigger letdown.

9. Death Proof: Quentin Tarantino's self-indulgent exercise in disgusting, fanboy fetishization and exploitation of women. Death Proof and I have a complicated past, to say the least.

10. Michael Clayton: "Oh no, she di'int!" Oh yes, I did.

1 comment:

Bill Treadway said...
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